Put your hand over my heart and tell me, do you feel it's pain?
Can you feel the slow, meagre beats,
The blood weakly flowing through it, that barely keeps me alive?
Do you sense that constricted ache,
The feeling of a cold, cruel fist gripping the muscle,
Squeezing without mercy
Every time I hear your name?
The churning of my stomach, boiling acid
Twisting into knots
Every time I see your face....
Throbbing in my head, can you hear it?
Those pitiful heartbeats resounding in my mind,
So loud, so painful,
Do you hear it too?
Scenes from an old life play within the drumming,
Black and white moments
Captured with the camera of my mind, I see you
Picture after picture
Knot after knot
And the tears, more tears than I can shed in one lifetime
Every time, every time.
One lonely, useless word, wrapped around each feeling
The only word left
In the tattered dictionary of my brain
Worn pages, ripped and thin from such frenzied reading
One raised voice, one lowered spirit
I want to erase the time spent there,
The hours in Hell
To give back the strength to your soul, repair the parts I've broken
I don't know if this is possible, even though your lips say it is
I look into your eyes and feel the violent, twisting, sneering pain
And think of the frustrated little word that resides in mine
If I say it once again, if I think it again
Will it cure the agony? I already know the answer.
The hurts we receive are the ones we deserve,
And how I deserve it!
Place your hand on my heart once more,
Can you still feel it?
Of course you can. The greatest hurt,
The most searing torment
The deepest feelings
And one word.
Sorry.